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End of World?

 

Are these the signs of global warming? Or end of world as Nostradamus and Mayans have predicted?

A Tsismoso philosopher sent in the following observation to Washington Tsismis. "Pare, consider the following ominous signs: A gigantic solar flare that will hit the earth soon, floods everywhere in the world – including the flooding of Metro Manila,- the droughts in the United States, strong tornadoes and storms, giant forest fires around the world, extreme heat in Europe and the United States, the rise of ocean tide due to melting of ice in the North and South Poles, the carnage in Syria which is a Biblical spot, admission by some unbelieving scientists that global warming is real, the giant Tsunami in Japan and the radiation emitted by a destroyed nuclear power plant, the exploration of Mars by the spectacular landing of the US's vehicle to map the planet… and so on.

"If you go to the internet and access the end of the world scenario, there are other sites about the end of the world."

 

Well, for Tsismoso and his friends, these scenarios disappear after three or four shots of bourbon or brandy.

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Sshhhhhh…Rumors are rife that a FilAm group is planning to award Eric Lachica with the "Hydra Award" for being a tireless Filipino American leader with multiple heads. Here is a report from a Tsismoso reporter:

"Eric is probably the only leader who can write letters to US President Barack Obama, Philippine President Benigno S. Aquino III, Foreign Secretary Albert del Rosario and other top American and Filipino leaders. Now, whether he got a response or not is immaterial as long as these letters were published or broadcast in the media. Eric is the man behind the Filipino veterans of World War II, the chief advocate of what some had dubbed as a Quixotic campaign for portable Medicare, a rabid leader of the US Pinoys for Good Governance (USPGG), chief organizer of demonstrations in front of the White House and the Chinese embassy, self-proclaimed master lobbyist in the US Congress who claims credit for the final recognition by the US government of Filipino veterans of World War II and the grant of benefits to some of the aging survivors, a topnotch PR (public relations, tanga) man, a master news photographer, reporter par excellence ..etcetera, etcetera..

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Is Barack taking the Asian American voters for granted? This was the question that FilAms are asking after the Mitt Romney campaign issued a press release naming Elaine Chao and retiring Filipino American congressman as among the leaders who have formed the Asian Americans for Romney group.

  ***

Why was there no report about the results of the Bronco-11 World Championships in Chesterfield, Virginia, in which the Barakos from the Philippines participated late last month? The reason, according to some Tsismosos, was that the Barakos lost their pants. They were no match for the big 11-year-olds from the US, Europe and Mexico.  The 14 kids and their 10 adult chaperones went home dejected. The winners were the outlet malls in Virginia where the kids and chaperones bought sports goods to bring home.

  ***

Now here are the Ten Commandments for Seniors (New Version) as culled from the Internet:

 1. Thou shalt not complain.

Huwag maging reklamador. Kung hindi mo gusto ang isang bagay talikuran at kalimutan.

2. Thou shalt not discuss thy ailments, even if asked.

Lahat ng tao ay may karamdaman sa, o pananakit ng katawan.  Kahit usisain ng ibang tao huwag magpahayag ng mahabang nobela ng inyong karamdaman.

3. Thou shalt not be argumentative, domineering and sanctimonious.

Iwasan ang makipagtalo, mapagmataas at magkutya ng kapwa tao, o magpakitang banal na virgen.  Lahat ng tao ay magkaiba – merong gago na madada pero walang magawang tama, merong mataas ang noo saksakan naman ang utang, at meron ding palasimba ala angel ngunit palaaway at ang salita ay parating nagtatapos ng p…. ina mo.

4. Thou shalt not feel sorry for thyself.

Huwag maawa sa sarili.  Kahit maglulupasay sa iyak at maguntog ng ulo sa pader walang makikiramay sa mga taong malalim ang katangahan at mababa ang pagtingin sa kanilang sarili.

5. Thou shalt not despairingly compare today with the "good old days."

Huwag paulit-ulit na ihahambing ang magagandang nakaraan sa nangyayaring kasalukuyan.  Kahit pumuti ang uwak hindi na babalik ang mga nakaraang panahon.

6. Thou shalt not find too much fault with younger people.

Huwag makialam sa problema ng mga kabataan.  Ang kanilang ginagawa ay umaayon sa kanilang panahon at mga kaibigan.

7. Thou shalt not let thyself grow sloppy in body, dress or mind.

Mag-ayos ng katawan at maligo araw araw.

8. Thou shalt not expect constant attention from thy family.

Huwag maghintay ng pagkalinga na manggagaling sa sariling pamilya. Tapos na ang iyong panahon.  Ang panahon nila ay para sa kanilang sariling pamilya.

9. Thou shalt not try to change people.

Huwag na huwag subukan na baguhin ang ibang tao.  Lahat tayo ay may iba-ibang kulay, hugis at isip.  Manahimik ka na lang kung ayaw mo ng away.

10. Thou shalt not insist upon being right all the time.

Huwag kang makulit.  Ang makukulit ay ipinapain sa leon.

Tsismoso's 11th commandment: &&&&&^#@&*

 

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