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Survival kit

August 9, 2008

By Juan Mercado

Notebook by Juan MercadoIn his essay “The Power of Laughter”, Jose Javier
Reyes asks: Is humor for us, Filipinos, just a diversion? Or is it a
survival kit?

“Laughter is the way Filipinos cope”, he argues. It has
many uses : from “leveler” that exposes foibles of the mighty, a
“release mechanism” from tensions in crises, to a tool to dodge
taboos…We are a people that love to laugh, Reyes adds.

Want to “test” this thesis? Below are texts from
billboards, food stalls to laundromats. Some came, in 2002, from a
compilation titled: “Pinoy Humor Shines in Neon Light”. .Additional
entries were drawn up in the list that dribbled in thru Internet
this week.. Here are some, edited for readability. Surf - and chuckle.

A Batangas shop offers _balut _as: “Starduck”. In Nueva
Ecija, there’s an eatery named: “Violybee” . A restaurant advertises: “Johnny’s Fried Chicken: The ‘Fried’ of Marikina “. Not to be outdone, this restaurant in Pampanga boasts of : “Mekeni Rogers”.

“Miki Mao” is a noodle shop. And this kambingan, in
Tarlac, is called: “Sa Goat Kita”. “Let’s Goat Together” is
a competing shop, but in Sorsogon. A panciteria, on Boni Avenue ,
is titled: “Pansit Ng Taga-Malaboni.”

And guess where Cainta-ky Fried Chicken operates? Want
a burger when you’re in Naga City . Then, try “Mang Donalds”. If
seeking a midnight snack, “Doris Night And Day” - a 24-hour eatery — is
the place. . And those who want second servings, go to _”Babalik
Karinderia_”.

In Divisoria Market, a squid stall nailed up this
sign: “Pusit to the Limit”. The shrimp store, however, is known as:
“Hipon Coming Back”. There are fishball carts near by. Their
streamers urge: “Eat My Balls”.

“Fish Be With You” is aquatic pet store next door. .And
this pet shop in Kamuning is named “Pakita Mo Pet Mo” while that, in
Ortigas, is known as : “Pussies and Bitches”. Anybody remember where
the petshop: “Petness First” set up tent?

Here are some samples from the food section of a mall.
Ice cream parlor: “Dila Lang Ang Katapat”. Chicharon store: “Chicha
Hut”. This fpasta store is known as : “Pizza Hot”. Tripe is served
with steaming porridge at “Goto Heaven:” But it’s friendly competitor
is named : “Goto Ko Pa!”

The section also boasts of panaderias. One is known as
: “Trimonay Bakeshop” And “Anak Ng Tinapay” is the next door
bakery’s_ leit motif_.. Cebu has “Pan Ta Bai”. Out front, a peanut
vendor’s cart sports the come-on : “Mani ni Papa”.

For those who prefer lechon, pork chop or steak, the
place to head is: ” Meating Place “. Prices here are competitive with
those in “Meat-tropolis.”

( Filipinos use humor to diffuse tension,” Reyes
writes.. “During the 1986 EDSA Revolution, families gathered in the
streets feasting, singing and dancing while their lives were being
threatened. Jokes immediately sprung out of national tragedies, such as
the assassination of Ninoy Aquino, or turning points in history, such as
the ouster of the Marcos regime. By treating nothing sacred, Filipinos
guard their equanimity from breaking down.” ).

. Signs vary with the goods - or services -offered. The
snappy humor is patent throughout though..

Thus “Asian Mobile Massage Service” offers: “Massage
only. God is watching”. In Antipolo, a tombstone maker nailed this sign
up: “Lito Lapida”. A copy center, in Sikatuna Village , opted for
“Pakopya ni Edgar”. But a Cavite beerhouse is called, “Chickpoint”.

Was it Tagbilaran that had a dry cleaner operations
named: “Summa Cum Laundry”.? Don’t confuse that with the laundromat
in Davao : ” Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes”. But “Wash Your
Problem” laundryshop is in Bacolod ?

The flower shop “Susan’s Roses” opened in Zamboanga?
“Petal Attraction”, we recall, was in Diliman. Pinoy Big Barber” is a
Cagayan de Oro barbershop.

Cyberspace has come to town. In Taguig, there’ an
Internet cafe named: “n@kopi ” And this salon
sports the billboard: “Hair Dot Comb”. “Cafe Pindot” is how a squatters
colony calls their portal to Internet..

A beauty parlor in San Juan , in any case, is named
“Cut & Face” A stone’s throw away is “Saudia Hairlines” saloon. And was
that a Tacloban salon called: “Curl Up And Dye”?.

Alabank” is, of course, in Alabang. The mall there had
“Robocock” - a store selling feeds for chickens. A second hand watch
store there is known as: “2nd Time Around”. But where did ceiling
installer ” Kisame Street “, open for business?

The Russian author Boris Pasternak never dropped by
this shoe repair in Marikina named after his prize-winning novel : “Dr.
Shoe-Bago”. Nor did comic strip Clark Kent ever hear of the shoe
repair store along Commonwealth emblazoned: “Shoe-perman.” It pledges:
“We will heel you. Save your sole and even dye for you.”
Customers will find, in front of these two stores, a taxi stand named:
“Income Taxi”.

“Filipino humor is rarely mean,” Reyes writes.. “Because
of their strong sense of _hiya_ (shame), Filipinos go to great lengths
to be polite.often self-deprecating… When Filipinos laugh at something
unique to them, their laughter becomes an assertion of their unity as a
people.”

( E-mail: juan_mercado@prime.net.ph

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